Sports 2009/10

Sports Ressies top the charts with NA NA NA NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-NE Against Kitsonians

Sunday morning, light drizzle, grey skies and a hint of wind for the MIGHTY FULBOURN SPORTS RESSIES vs Kitsonians game at Manor school. Having smashed em last time in the pouring rain and coldness a few weeks before Christmas, this was our opportunity to kill off the Kits title hopes (if they had any) but also make up for the goals we lost when Manor Park withdrew. A confident Sports side arrived in jubilent mood, Coops and Spaxman arriving a little later than intended after going to the other school on Arbury Road. Lewie Black was waiting for Craske to pick him up, who was sitting next Scrutton in his kit ready to take the field. A mixup in any case between the lads as to who was gonna ‘lift’ Lewy to the game. Although the end result was his own brother stitching him up!! Bastard!!! .
Nonetheless he turned up just before we kicked off via a taxi.
A full squad today for Stan to pick from today. The line up was as follows…..

Coops ( the Ressies new regular numero uno)

Holtanator         Scrotem      S. Duff-E   OOOO-Danny boy

Spacko        Fabre-Craske     Sweep       Charles of the clan Arthur

Dodger               Azzzaaaarrrrrr

Subs this week were the returning  Cockney Geezer  Robbie Hutton,  Marcus Decimus Meridius Jones , Lewie Lewie Lewie…… AHHHHHHHH Black Support from the boys came from the brother  Matt Duff-E  (nice to see ya bert been a while)  A few choice words from Stan about the game and how we need to approach it and we were ready for action.

The toss was won by captain Scrutton and the game got underway.  Sports looking to dominate early were carving out half chances which were taken with ease by the Kits big fella in the sticks. He looked like a tall Richard O’Brian… I was waiting for the old ” will you start the fans please”  to be shouted out but it never happened.  The game was a little messy for the first ten or so minutes. Notably Kits striker Davide (an old Camden player Ive played with ) tended to be standing 3,4,5 sometimes 10 yards offside. Decided to argue the toss with Marcus who was doing the line…… I can tell ya now, he was never good at the offside trap when I played with him at Camden, if he played up front he was off. When he played left back alongside me, he kept the oppo onside!!! Enough said there……
A moment of madness and rather worrying decision making led to the games first goal. No it wasnt for us. A Holty throw to Scrutton deep in the Sports corner of the pitch was not dealt with properly and the ball having been lost to the attacker took a couple of touches and slotted through Dannys legs to the despair of the diving Coops. I will add that wouldnt have happened if Holty just lobbed Coops the ball to clear our lines!!!
Lesson learnt.  1-0 Kitsonians.
That for Sports was a wake up call. Kits began to get a bit wet between the legs (I mean excited), they were in front against the best side in the league. Wouldnt you get a bit excited? Straight from the restart the intensity rose and Sports took charge. A few tackles were flying in from both sides. Charlie getting smashed twic from behind and rather late.
Freekicks were awarded yet no word by the ref spoken. Theres me thinking it was a bookable offense for one tackle from behind when ya take the man and get nowhere near the ball, let alone 2 by the same man on the same player?
This only rifled Charles who did some reducing of his own, bit naughty but one or two were fair yet he was singled out by the 12 yr old referee for a stern word. More offsides from Davide of the Kits and he turned to me and said stop moaning?  Eh? he was the one with the handbag moaning at Jonesy and then Hutton after he took over. Strange fella!!!!!
Some good chances were squandered after good work from the midfield and wingers. Yet the pressure was taking its toll. The defence were more assured after the calamity of the first goal. We soon equalised a through ball from Dan Holt  was taken on superbly by Azza Oglesby who raped his marker (not literally) then fired past the keeper into the bottom corner.
The finish was superb. 1-1

This only spurned Sports on with chances coming thick and fast as we looked to make Kits pay for their good start. Azza hitting the defenders face with a shot, got the cries from BLew on the side lines “SMACK THE FACE” , Roger firing over , Fergie passing back to the keeper. It was just a matter of time before we scored. Bang!!! Roger latched onto a sloppy header from the Kits fullback and smashed  Sports in the lead. 2-1 . Looking more and more comfortable as the half went on Charles and Shane were raping the full backs down the left and right, at times it looked as if the kits fullbacksa had their pants around their ankles. A couple of near misses, corners only added to the Sports quest for more goals. Kits to be fair to em were looking for opening, although Coops and co were more than able to deal with anything coming through the backline. 2-1 soon became 3-1 as Kitsonians began to cave in at the back. Panicky defending and good midfield link up play with the strikers and Azza belted our third goal home. Some of the sports stuff was good to watch at times, one touch here and there and we looked awesome as a unit. You can see why Azza and Roger score the kind of goals they do when you have back up like we have. Kits restarted and couldnt get any rhythm. The short hairband wearing midfielder for Kits was nifty on the ball, but had no support. Dale and Carl were kept rather quiet by our centre mid and defence. Fergie then popped up and found himself one on one with the keeper after a game of pinball outside the box, inevitable the outcome was a goal. Very calmly pushed by the keeper and the lads celebrated again, much to the delight of the folks on the line too. 4-1 game half done!!  Kits again restarted and musta been thinking what they had to do to stop us and get back in the game. More tackles flew in, the Kits centre mid was after an oscar for his epic falling after being tackled. Moaning like a girl with his hairband on…….. he would be so much better if a) he was a foot taller b) stayed on his feet c) stop bitching and d ) cut his bloody hair!!!  Before we got a 5th, more chances created and wasted. Coops long knock from another offside decision put Charles through who blasted wide of the mark. Craskes through ball to Roger who had a shot blocked by the Kits centrre half.
Bloody hell!!! Yet  Another offside for Sports, another bitch and moan from Davide….. Coops stooped up and launched another ball over the left back Matty Merry, Roger had the centre half to beat, twisted and turned, “pass dodge” was the shout, yet he done what strikers do best.
Ran at the defender skinned and buried the ball in the kits right hand side of the net. Big smile on his face bless him. 5-1 the juices were flowing in the Sports veins, the confidence off the charts.

Half Time………  One of the more comical moments of the day. The referee wanted to speak to resident Geezer Rob Hutton and Scrutton to help him clarify this offside malarky that had been going on. After all the ref said and done, Rob calmly  turned to him and said “If hes offside Ill flag it, if hes not I wont”  … simples. I think the ref got the message. haha class. Huttons wisdom didnt stop there. He said Azza was playing well because of the mullet. He couldnt see the ball!!!

Kits got us underway for the second half and we came racing out the blocks looking for more goals to put the goal difference back up. Nothing much created, backline rarely troubled, what with the offsides and Coops clearances, Scruttons headers, dannys tackles, Holtys strong stance, Duffys little runs. However Kits clawed back another goal, after a ball whipped in caught Coops in two minds and Danny off guard who could only steer the ball into the corner. 5-2 . Faint and I mean very faint hope for Kits. 2 gifted goals for the oppo and Sports hit the accelarator and stepped up a gear.
Relentless in the search for goals. A series of corners, free kicks ensued and went unpunished. Good work down the right by Shane and Roger found Fergie on rushing and slotted home to give us the 4 goal cushion once again. 6-2.  Stan made his subs. With Holty, 2 goal Fergie and Charles coming off for Jonesy, Hutton and Black. The gypsy in the centre mid began to taunt Charles. Saying he didnt have a great game etc…. Correct me if Im wrong but ya getting stuffed 6-2 mate and none of us have to have a decent game to beat crap oppo. So SHHHHH sunshine. Get ya haircut!!!!
Lewie was also mugged off . “here comes the playmaker, haha,” one of em shouted. Well with a couple of touches. The first thing Lew did was pick out Roger whos shot was well blocked by the defender. Piss take all ya want lads, but Lewie will make ya pay!!!  The corner came over, it bounced , bobbled, Roger controlled, turned and unleashed an absolute WORLDY shot, unstoppable. As soon as it left his boot I was celebrated. OUCH!!! what a finish. 7-2  Game over surely?  Yes? …. well no.
The subs were playing their part, Hutton sturdy at right back, Jones linking well with Danny boy and Lewie picking out passes for fun. Couple that with the rest of the side looking pretty comfortable, we were in cruise control. The sloppiness would soon return as Kits continued to play their stuff. More balls sneaked through the backline. Duffy was getting bored and decided to try walk the ball out of defence losing it at the first attempt, causing needless pressure. A good Kits move sent the left winger into the box, and a normally assured tackle from our skipper would normally take the ball, this time however the man went down. Penalty was given, taken and despatched. 7-3 .  In fairness we gifted them the goals, but the fella who got 2 of them was the only one who deserved to score for them. He was a menace at times but had little or no support, His name was Crouchy? I hope thats his surname, cos if its just a nickname its an epic fail. Hes shorter, and built more than Crouch, and prob scores more goals!!!!  Time for more chances and 2 very well taken goals. Ok 1 well taken and 1 absolute stunner!!!!  Before those though Roger had missed from
3 yards after good work by Marcus down the left and a Danny or Azza (cant remember). His header blazing over. A Lewie Black free kick beat everyone, hit Rogers left peg and rolled to the keeper. If he was alert he coulda tapped in the corner, Scrutton tried to lob the keeper from 4 yards and twated it over. Anyway missed chances were more than made up for. Corner floated over by Shaneo, beat the big Kits defenders, our defenders, midfeilders, wing backs, the man and his dog on the sidelines, Stan running the line, the grass, the weather. ….. it fell to Roger on edge of the box. BOOM BOOM POW!!!!!!!! The net nearly broke, you could hear the thud of the shot on the other pitch, or across the road. The rip of the net too.
That topped it all off for me. 8-3.  To have missed 2 easy chances before this one, he saved his best til last.
8-3 and there was still 5 minutes left. A deep cross was merely flicked on to the back post and steaming in, with a well controlled volley into the bottom corner was Shane Spaxman. Masterful, ” Ya cant teach that” was the word from our young right winger. That finished the game off in style and when the whistle blew for full time it was job done. 9-3 thanks for coming Greens, like a Sunday roast Chicken they were , well and truly stuffed!!!!!
It really could been 15.

A good win today and the Sports go marching on on on. Notable mentions to Azza who was a pest to the Kits backline all game, Fergie for his two well taken goals, Jonesys neat touches when he came on. Lewie Blick, in the face of piss taking from the oppo, showing em how to pick a pass. Craske was busy in the middle.  M.O.M can only be one man. Roger 4 worldy goals, coudla had 7 or 8. His link up play was decent, although sometimes greedy (as strikers are) he also laid on a few for others. Personal thanks to Stan, Rob and Marcus for taking in turns to run the line. Id also like to thank the lads for accepting me as their new number one.

There seems to be a buzz around the club at the moment, could it be because all 3 sides are on winning streaks. Well done to first team for a 7-0 pasting of Drayton Lions, and the A team for grinding out a 3-2  win against Wilburton. Where I hear Rocket stacked it and blamed the mole holes……

Your resident Guv’nor Coops

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